So long, Berlin 👋
So long, Berlin 👋
Have you ever felt that urge to relive a moment from years ago, hoping it would feel the same?
A New Berlin Perspective
I went to Berlin hoping for an Amsterdam redux—a time to feel young, carefree, and just 'vibe' through life. Spoiler: Berlin had other plans. At 34, I’m constantly aware of the ticking clock on the life I envisioned. There are so many things I still want to do. I want to complete yoga teacher training, take a photography course, and write a book. And yet, I’m also running out of time for the things that biology might limit but which I feel no immediate pull to pursue. I’m caught between FOMO and the weight of anticipated regret.
But life has a way of working out when conviction is real. Since I was about ten, I knew I wanted to write for a living. Now, I do—though not quite in the way I imagined. I dreamed of being a Latina Dolly Alderton, effortlessly chic with a bold and edgy style in clothes and writing. Instead, I’m my own brand: a woman writing about economics and society, wearing scandalously loud outfits… for the insurance industry. For all its unpredictability, life has brought me what I needed, including someone who loves me, which I often thought impossible.
The Sobriety Shift
Despite what I’ve achieved, I still feel like a work in progress. Berlin marked a turning point: I stopped drinking there. As of today, I’ve been sober for 115 days. Occasionally, I miss the casual pleasure of a glass of wine, but the energy I’ve gained… Sobriety is not overrated. Taking this pause in Berlin helped me rethink my priorities around drinking, and it’s something I’ll always be grateful for.
Back in Munich, my live-in boyfriend has supported this journey by joining me in sobriety. Together, we stock up on alcohol-free beers and mix fun drinks served in funky glasses as we watch our favorite shows. It’s essentially the same experience, minus the numbing of feelings and thoughts. I’ve even lost a little weight and committed to a more intense fitness routine, which just adds to the sense of accomplishment.
Coming Home to Munich
I used to worry that I was letting my thirties slip away in a ‘settled’ city like Munich. But this is where I’ve truly grown into adulthood and built a foundation I value deeply. Surprisingly, my time in Berlin gave me the perspective to realize what really matters: family, friends, health, nature, and safety. Now, I’m excited to dive back into Munich life—especially to try out some new workout spots, cafés and restaurants. Stay tuned.
Berlin’s Realities vs. Expectations
As for the “real Berlin experience,” locals assured me I got a pretty accurate glimpse: warding off a weirdo visiting me at midnight with a cat on a leash, facing a brutal real estate market, dealing with public transportation hiccups, getting familiar with the city’s unhoused population on my commute, and regularly spotting what I can only call New York-sized rats in the streets. Ultimately, it wasn’t the liberating, bohemian adventure I’d hoped for. I discovered, instead, that at 34, my responsibilities follow me everywhere, be it Berlin or Munich. Some things, it turns out, are harder to leave behind.
Oh, and on one of my last days in Berlin I was in the same room as President Macron! That was exciting!